An Unfortunate Breakup

My dear,

I have a confession to make.
I’ve been seeing another library behind your back. I’m sorry! They just have more books, pretty books, and I can help myself! You’re convenient, but you’re just not giving me what I want. I have needs – you must understand that. I have needs that have to be addressed, or I get very cranky and very crabby, which is not something anyone wants. 
I hate to have to say this, but I think it’s time we went our separate ways. I’ll always have a special place in my heart for you – we’ve been a good steady team for years now, which doesn’t just go away, so we’ll still continue to be friends, and I’ll still visit you every week, but I think I’ll start going to the other library more often, ok? 
Oh, don’t cry….I don’t want to hurt you or make you feel inferior. The other library just has a lot more books, better books – you understand, right? I’ve read most of your good books, and as much as I love to re-read, sometimes a girl needs new material.
Goodbye.

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